My Big Fat Singing Cocktail Weekend

“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.  You have to go to them sometimes.” – A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh


It was my friend’s birthday on the weekend, I know Rachel from work and over the last three years she has become a good friend of mine.  She has taught me a lot and I have talked her ear off. 
I’m a cheap drunk I have two drinks and I’m tipsy so I try to have a two drink limit.  We decided to go for drinks before we got to the restaurant to kill time so I had a cocktail that was the official start of my weekend a weekend I won’t be forgetting anytime soon. 
I arrived at TGI Fridays in one piece; the restaurant has been very busy since it opened a few months ago. It is American style food, buffalo wings, burgers, ribs and the portions are big and good value for money. I knew this weekend was going to be a fat weekend so I didn’t hold back, I ordered the buffalo wings and French Canadian burger and another cocktail.  The alcohol soon kicked in and I landed a fake husband who wasn’t really a willing participant but as the saying goes if at first you don’t succeed try again.  I don’t ever run out of things to say but when I’m drunk I don’t stop talking!
We left TGI Fridays to make our way to karaoke, Rose showed me her phone and told me how her phone had 5% battery left and now it has 50% battery because of this battery charger phone case, I hadn’t seen one of these cases before and I thought what a brilliant idea I want one of these cases for my iPhone so I asked her do they make these cases for the iPhone and she said this is an iPhone and burst into laughter. She said how many drinks have you had? I said two cocktails two drinks is my limit and that is when it was pointed out to me that one cocktail is two drinks so therefore I really had drunk four drinks.  So I thought well I’ve already gone over my limit I might as well not stop there. When we got to karaoke my yellow wedge heels I have never worn since I bought over a year ago came off so I could dance on the lounge and be the same height as everyone else.  I had two shots, sang with Rachel Wrecking Ball, We Are Never Ever Getting Back

Together, I Touch Myself and I can’t remember what else.  The birthday girl has many talents being able to sing Gangnam Style in Korean without missing a beat is a talent I never knew she had.  I had a great time and even got a sore throat from screaming which is my equivalent of singing.   After four hours sleep it was time to make the trip to my friend Kate’s housewarming party.  I met up with my other friend Gigi to go on our mini adventure.  It was going to take one an half hours on the bus to get to Kate’s

place so Gigi came prepared with her assignment to do and I was planning on sleeping.  I couldn’t sleep though because every 20 minutes I could hear the sound of the bus loosing power and the bus driver starting it up again.  All I could think was that we were going to get stranded on the freeway in the middle of nowhere with a bus full of senior citizens.  There wasn’t a single young strong man that could have carried me the rest of the way to Kate’s if the bus broke down.  Thank god it didn’t, the trip just took half an hour longer.  Kate had sent me a map of how to get to her place from the bus stop and it looked really close.  We got out Google maps and started walking.  If we had realised from the start that it 32 degrees and it was going to take half an hour to walk there we would have caught a taxi.  When we worked this out of course there was no taxi’s in sight.  We arrived an hour late, dehydrated, sweating like pigs but Kate welcomed us with open arms. I went to the bathroom to check myself out and my reflection was scarier than normal.  My eyeliner had smudged, my lipstick had run to create a third lip and I looked like I had run a marathon.  Kate had exactly what I needed, food and wine and plenty of it.

We got a lift to the bus stop by a lovely young couple and this time a coach bus showed up and it didn’t have issues so I was able to sleep on the way to the city.  It was Chinese New Year and Gigi suggested we go and have a light dinner.  As we were walking trying to find a place to eat Gigi tells me how this client  at work offered her Redskins he had been to the lolly factory and I asked where the lolly factory is. She said she didn’t ask so if anybody knows where this lolly factory is in Sydney please let me know I want to go.   We ended up going to this Japanese restaurant called Yumei.  Our “light” dinner consisted of three dishes each and because we had never been there before we didn’t know how big the dishes were.  The food was beautiful and good value for money we will definitely go back again, we couldn’t finish it all I was so full I thought I was going to be sick. 

By the time we waddled to Central station to go home it was late.  As I walking onto my platform when I saw this billboard for New Balance. It had three ladies running with the words Saturday Night Out I smiled and thought maybe in some other life time.

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