Who Pays On The First Date?

“The worst thing a man can ever do is kiss me on the first date.”- Halle Berry

I was getting my nails painted when I received a text from my friend Bron asking me if I had been to the restaurant Saké at The Rocks.  I sent her a text back saying yes the food is amazing; bring your wallet though what is the occasion? She replied I’m going on a first date there on Sunday, he chose the restaurant and booked it I have had a look on the menu and I hope he pays….

Saké Restaurant & Bar is a three hat restaurant, it has excellent reviews online and I would personally recommend it to anyone who likes Japanese food.  Having said that it’s not cheap and you need to order a few dishes to get full especially if you’re not ordering sushi.  

In the 21st Century I don’t believe the man should always get the bill, women have become so independent over the decades, have fought for equal rights and I know women who get paid more than their partners and that’s just a few reasons why I believe in going halves and I know Bron feels the same way.  Having said that, on the first date I would like him to pay especially if he chose the place but when the bill arrives I’ll still reach for my wallet because I don’t think you can assume that the guy is willing to pay for it all and I also think it is the polite thing to do. 


As Bron’s date has chosen and booked the restaurant I assume he intends on paying but it does put Bron in an awkward situation if she doesn’t want to spend that much money, is it too late to suggest to him to eat somewhere else? or can we just assume that his just going to pay?


Would love to hear your thoughts.

8 thoughts on “Who Pays On The First Date?”

  1. OK. What ever happened to gentlemen??

    To me, it's plain and simple; if he has manners, if he is a gentleman HE SHOULD PAY!!

    It is the very core of manhood – to be the provider. That's how a man shows is love. And if he has a problem with that or if it's an issue for him, he obviously doesn't think you're worthy of his money.. If he's not willing to treat you like a lady who is worthy of him.

    In this age and this century, women have been raised to be independent – but I don't see how that means that men should loose responsibility for being a REAL man. Ladies – you need to wrap your mind around this concept.

    And yes, some men try to ignore the role of paying for the lady either out of selfishness, stupidity or sheer inability … or a combination of all three.

    And then it's put on us like we're using or taking advantage of them – ok, it's a trap to make us feel bad and/or guilty. So now- men can get everything they want from us without us ladies having to ask or expect this very basic, instinctual responsibility that all man all over the world are obligated to assume.

    Its a “get-over” scheme that has been applied to any woman who has made clear that she expects her man to fulfil his duty as a man.

    All women that pull this “I'm independent” or “it should be half and half”, “it should be fair”; HELLO!? are you in a relationship or a friendship??? Do you want to be treated like the lady you deserve to be treated like? Do you want a tight-ass or a gentleman?

    Any woman has a right to expect that her man will pay for her dinner, movie ticket, club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exchange for your time.
    Because women (from what I know) end up spoiling their men in many ways regardless. So it balances out.

    A man – a real one anyway, who actually genuinely cares for you, will pull out his wallet and pay the full bill without hesitation. IF he really cares for you and IF he is a real man and a TRUE gentleman.

  2. if this first date is going very well and more date are expected to come then he pays and I would pick up the check next time. If it looks like that is a first and last one …then ! I would insist on paying so I don't owe anyone.

  3. Not only because of the whole girl power argument…I would like to pay half anyway since it doesn’t seem fair that one person foots the bill when you were both eating. But secretly, I would like it if the guy insisted (or has already settled the bill before any discussion occurs), it’s a nice gesture and it makes you feel special on the first date. But yes, I assume if he picked the place and booked there is a very likely chance he’ll be insisting!

  4. I think it's nice for the guy to pay on the first date but I don't think it's amust. In saying that, if he asks to take you out and he chooses and books the restraunt I would assume he is going to pay. Good luck :)))

  5. Such a good blog topic. I think most men have an internal need to provide and if a woman initiates payment (on the first date) some men might feel emasculated – just a thought? Then again in this day and age we can't really assume anything and be prepared to shell out half. But I'm sure since he was the one who invited her out, he would “be a gentleman” and pay for the first date. 🙂

  6. The active women's rights campaigner in me says what hope do we have continuing to focus on the infinite minutia of our everyday lives and how it relates to a man.

    But the gold digger in me says screw it, make him pay!!! That's why I never take a wallet on a first date.

  7. Its a tricky one!! I think in this particular situation I would assume he would pay. I would bring some cash in case and offer to pay half if really necessary but I would think that he has already planned to pay. I think its a nice gesture when the man pays for the meal, it can show that he is a true gentleman and understands chivalry.

  8. Well this is one of those questions that comes up so often. Everyone has different views on it but I'm old fashioned and think that a guy should pay on the first date if he asked you out. Every situation varies of course and sometimes it's appropriate to split the bill. But generally I'd like a guy to pay if he asked me out on the first date. Then see where it goes. I'd offer to pay but ultimately he should fit the bill.

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